king & queen of pain.

began as a free-write, ended up in my creative writing final.


cut into me. melt my skin. part it to allow a red sea. king of pain, baby, that's you. let me be your queen? we'll rule together in vengeful harmony. our yin & yang broken-hearted flag. we'll rule over each other's demons. set up obstacles & traps. don't let me get me. we'll hide from our rain clouds & run from our shortcomings to a cave of control. we won't be lonely anymore. we'll be together. ruling our imperfect little utopia. i'll catch you when the rope snaps & drops you from the tree. you'll stop my fingers from pulling the trigger. i'll lend you my breath to keep you from drowning. you'll lend me your liver to process that bottle & those pills. we'll borrow each other's minds so we don't lose our own. our tear ducts will dry & our throats won't be sore. in our freezing hot love spell we'll stay. in our personal hells we'll remain. i'll cure your paranoia, you'll solve my confusion. we're not good enough, but we can pretend. just smile real big to draw their eyes from the crosshatching on your arms. i'll just wink & blush, bat my eyelashes to draw their eyes from the pirate's map on my belly. X marks the spot. but which X is correct? dry those baby blues while i clean my bleeding mascara. king of pain, baby. let me be your queen. we'll rule a liar's paradise, together in separate worlds, living in each other's eyes. we'll rule over our black widows, spinning & weaving webs of deceit. over our evils, burning white-hot into our retinas. we'll rule a land of solar eclipses & shooting stars, of fire & brimstone, of icicles & grassy cliffs overlooking rocky seashores, jagged stone slicing the icy saltwater. broken hearts & bleeding wrists unite. let me be yours. love me please? we'll hurt each other so good. please please please love me? rip me open, tear me apart, like paper. that's all i am. this shell i've enclosed myself in. papier mache mocking a stone wall. the cracks are already there. & your moat is only blue paint, barely a puddle, a shallow trail. no raging river or harsh white waters. the bridges are already there. i step over your paint & reach out to you, clutch you to my chest. breathe for me & i'll scream for you, because i can't find my lungs & you can't find your voice. an echo of pain shoots tremors through our land of yin & yang, of broken-hearted harmony. shards of our shattered lives fit together perfectly, like puzzle pieces meant to be. so this is what they meant when they said "cut out for one another". thunder voices our agony, our anguish & struggle, & lightning strikes the earth, creating faults in our foundation. king of pain, baby, that's you. let me be your queen.