try as i may i cannot pause the racing thoughts within my head
but if i were to stop so suddenly, i'd surely end up dead.
& this thought is the one that keeps me rounding 'bout the circle track:
if i lose momentum, i might start to notice things i lack
grace & poise & fucking class & all that ladies should broadcast
qualities that i, myself, could never ever hope to grasp.
i think & then i turn around & then i think again
& wish for changing mirrors with my open eyes & then
i think of who i am & who i used to be back when
razors called to me for every hour of my day
minutes, even seconds, feeling pain not kept at bay
shortly after seeing red i knew what i became:
a small, slightly awkward ball of shivering quakes
resounding into nothingness as i migrate
back into my shell, cracking like an ancient plate.
& now to screw discretion i wear short sleeves
prepare for judgment as annoying as fleas
look into eyes & ask a very small, 'please?'
you pretend to know me without seeing
i decide to show you what i'm being
we have very diff'rences in meaning.
confusion settles in all the time
perhaps if i could understand rhyme
you could possibly be somewhat mine
don't you realize what you're missing?
that these lips you could be kissing?
then we could start reminiscing
about days that have long gone
little mistakes that were wrong
plans that kept us dreaming on
but now what's left is us
shattered & without love
never cooing like doves
i'll leave you with this
was ignorance bliss?
seal it with a kiss
can you resist?
let's make a list
things that you'll miss:
all my love
like a drug
my laughter
my voice
my taste
your choice:
stay
or
go.
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